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Humor

 

Life's too short not to have a laugh now and then :-)

One of our favorite videos

 
A picture is worth a thousand words.

 

 

A "must see" "The perfect Plumber" video

CLICK HERE TO WATCH

 

 

Larry, the plumber doing his paperwork :-)

 

How To Shampoo Your Cat
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and
add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him
while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the
cat in the toilet and close both lids.
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make
ample suds. Never mind the noises
that come from the toilet, the cat is
actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door
of your home. Be sure that there are no
people between the bathroom and the
front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you
can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of
the toilet,
streak through the bathroom, and run
outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will
be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

 

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:


1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road. SR 202 is the s ame road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. And if all that isn't enough to remember SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. where it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.